Lost Coin notes 7/8/08

*Administration*

Retreat
- Try to reserve rooms while still available.
- OK to invite non-members to retreat. Charge will be slightly higher for non-members.

Starting Tuesday classes quietly now with no talking, just sitting.  We can talk after class.

*Last Week's Exercise* - Try to observe objectively how people see you.

If you're way off from your perception of how other's see you, it's a gift. You have a great chance for change.

Not everything, everybody says about you is correct.  But in general what people say about is around 90% correct.

Our 1st impulse is to block feedback.  Sitting & koans are important to help you not identify with self, so you are not so defensive against feedback.

Most of us walk around wanting to be loved and accepted.  Easiest way is to first give it.

If you hear the same things about you over time, consider it.  If all of your boyfriends/girlfriends say similar things to you, consider it. They know you well.

*Seeing Your Consistency*

Daniel explained how he used to be arrogant & angry.  One day he got it.  He didn't think he was arrogant & angry, but once he got it his life changed a lot.

See the thing you're doing consistently that others see that keeps you from being who you are.  See the mechanical, don't worry, don't change, just see it.

We have compassion for each other in the group.  Try treating others w/ same compassion you have w/ group.

Not a picnic to be in a monastery. Opposite of what you might think.  Tough part is not summons or lack of sleep, its the other people in close quarters that is hard.

It's hard to see ourselves because we think we are every thought, mechanical action.  Daniel wants us to develop objectivity.

Most of the time we don't want to be critical of ourselves.  Once in awhile someone points out something & it helps, but in the long run positive words are more effective.  Be that way with yourself.  Don't be judgmental & hard on yourself.  Just see it.

Daniel joined a very tough kung-fu gym.  Was scared to join because someone had died training there.  Did crazy push-ups drills.  Teacher one day put his face next to Daniel's and said "You can do this" during the exercise. It stuck with him.  Positive makes more difference than negative.

When you see yourself w/ judgement, you back off & argue w/ vision of yourself.  If you just see it you can stay with it.

When Daniel saw his anger, he just saw it.  Didn't get angry about being angry.  Just noticed it & stopped carrying the mechanical anger everywhere.

Be a camera, be neutral, just see.

*In Class Exercise*

Examining yourself, take a few minutes & think of the person you're observing as your first name, and yourself  as observer, as "I".

What is "I"?  It is a field that contains the thoughts & emotions.  The spirit, Buddha, mind.  That is you.

Because you are really that "I" everything else is a shape that it takes by circumstance, by cause & effect.

Deepening understanding of real "I", also not being identified w/ other things helps us be aware & conscious.  Go deeply in both and you will be able to choose to embody whatever.

The entity you are transcends the human state.  Survival of the most adaptable, not mechanical.

Adaptable - Practice not making other people wrong.  Practice getting what you want instead of being right.  Being right is usually not getting what you want, and it's everybody else's fault.

Making people wrong or yourself right is all about our own habitual patterns and our own insecurities.

Free yourself, free others from yourself & having to put up w/ you.

Sometimes you can't observe yourself like film, so take snapshots.

*Jukai*

Taking precepts is agreement you make w/ yourself that not everything is someone else's fault.  Therefor you don't have to be right.

1st precept is very simple.  Vow to do good.  "Choose the right".  This
makes basis for the whole thing.

Doing good not proving others wrong, but choosing to be part of the benevolent spirit of the universe.  Choosing benevolence, not blame.

Daniel was like CEO of a Zen Center.  He got irritated with everyone, they were messing things up & he was responsible for keeping the center going. Part of daily chant is "Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them all".  Daido asked Daniel "Which ones did you have in mind?"
